So I have 11 weeks till my 30th birthday. I had goals the beginning of 2008 to be a certain weight before my birthday and to have accomplished certain goals. Up to this point, 11 weeks to go, I have not accomplished anything I put my mind too. It is sorta depressing! I am currently 180 pounds and I wanted to be at 130 (at least) but that is definately not going to happen. I would have to lose about 5 pounds a week...that is definately not healthy. If i worked REALLY hard, I could probably lose the average 2 pounds a week, which would put me at about 160...its progress, but definately wasnt my initial new years goal.
So turning 30 doesn't really affect me all that much. I feel like maybe life is wasting away a bit and that I could have accomplished more up to this point, but overall I am pretty content with where my life is. I am happily married to a wonderful man, I have a career, a house, and family and friends that love and adore me.
So this weekend was really hard. I am having a tough time with Carol and Todd breaking up. I think that it is what they need to do because I dont think either one of them wants to make the sacrifices required to make it work...and that is a bad start. So going seperate ways is good for both of them i think, but I hope they remain friends. I am a bit worried about Carol though and her relapses...i think maybe she isnt thinking clearly, although she thinks she is thinking very clearly. I truly believe that God will give you everything you ever wanted...i mean Nat is perfect for me....in SO many ways. I look back on a list I made years before I even met him and he fits the list to a T. Its quite amazing actually, but I would think that Carols list would have some characteristics or qualifications that I have yet to see in this new beaux. I dont really think I care for him, although I admit I havent given him a solid chance, but I just dont think that I like him...he is kind of on the creepy side (like Tony was...sometimes you just get the awkward heebee-jeebeez from them). its not my choice, but I think she is settling...I just hope either she realizes that, or I see what she sees in him...here's hoping.....
So this weekend went FABULOUS! Sarah Craynon and Nat FINALLY met and they are instant friends. They have so much in common that I wish I could embrace...like books and computers and golf. I feel a little inadequate with his choosing me...but he loves me for a reason...although I am not even sure what reason is anymore. I think I was a bit jealous at some points, but he claims I have nothing to worry about, and I trust him. I think I will just have to work harder to be a great wife and have more in common with him.
Nat is seriously considering moving to Cincinnati. He was probed and proded all weekend about it. He has told me before that his life was here in Peoria, his family, his job, the house...but something happened this weekend. He is not only saying "i'll go whereever you want, I just want to make you happy" to looking seriously to get transferred and sending resume off to Sarah to help him with. I am not going to pressure him, if it happens it happens...if its meant to be, it will be. Just like his opinion of babies! =) It seems like I am finally starting to get settled here in Peoria. I have a job that is steady and comfortable. I have a really good friend in Sandy and have more good friends in the other girlie girls. I am considering doing junior league with Sandy and getting more involved in the community and to also start working with a photographer in the area (if he would ever call me back...he is notorius for being bad at calling back!) I hope that I can at least start working with him and becoming more comfortable with it if in fact we move.
Nat is starting with Accenture and seeing if there are any oppurtunities to transfer, then Sarah gave him a list of companies to send his resume to and she is also having a friend work with her connections to spread the word and see if there is anything out there that fits for him. I think that is something he needed, someone to help him navigate the area for potential leads. Its actually pretty promising. I dont think I will have a problem finding a job there, but I will also have to totally rearrange and change all the foundational elements for AV...that will be a pain in the ass. I am not sure what to think. I have struggled with this issue so much and now that I am finally sorta settled here...he wants to move...its scary but exciting....i guess we will have to see how it goes.