FAILURE! it must be since its really the only thing i have consistently gotten right. Failure to lose weight, failure to quit smoking, failure to get pregnant, failure at my dreams, failure to succeed. Of course I have had those small little triumphs, but they really dont last long.
I signed up for weight watchers last night. Woke up this morning had a couple brownies and a coke. Well that was shot, so i succeeded in drowning my failures in ice cream, pizza and more coke. so now i just feel like shit. its to be expected. I should just stop trying because it seems like failure is inevitable.
Ok there is my pity party...how i feel the majority of all my days. i look in mirror and see failure. i try something new and feel failure. My body is falling apart. I am getting too old for my age. I Have loads of life left in front on me, and I am not sure i even want to try anymore...but i have to...cause i dont really want to suffer the next 30 years like i did the last...i just dont want to deal with it anymore.
i am not deporessed....just going through the grieving process...